A Conversation with George

(In honor of my purchasing, for the first time, the Star Wars triology on DVD)

Reinman: Before we begin, I'd like to thank you for agreeing to participate in this chat. I'm sure you're a very busy man, what with all the preparations for Episodes VII, VIII, and IX.

George: Ha ha, no. There will be no more Star Wars movies. Always six, never nine. I'd check your source, son.

Reinman I am. And don't worry -- I'm eternally grateful that you're not making them.

George Ok. I don't have to put up with this, you know. I'm doing you a favor.

Reinman You're right. I apologize. But, to be honest, I think you want to put up with this.

George What do you mean?

Reinman I mean I think you leap at every chance to defend your prequels and abysmal "special editions."

George I don't consider them "special editions." Those are the movies I wanted to make -- and continue to make.

Reinman Continue?

George They may never be complete. There are always new and better ways to improve them. For instance, 3-D -- much like CG at the present -- is going to be the dominant film technology of the future, and Star Wars is going to lead the way. Imagine the final attack on the Death Star in 3-D. Imagine a trench that, instead of straight and narrow, dips and dives and curves and loops like a rollercoaster.

Reinman What!?

George Just kidding.

Reinman Oh.

George Maybe. But you really need to lighten up. These are just movies after all. My movies.

Reinman But they're not just your movies. They're movies millions of people fell in love with -- almost 30 years ago, I might add. If your movies aren't complete, what did all those people see?

George Drafts. Rough drafts.

Reinman You can't be serious.

George Why not? It's my creation. Why can't I decide when they're done? Why can't I be the one to say when they're perfect?

Reinman Because they'll never be perfect. And that was always part of the appeal. Those who loved the movies loved the flaws as well.

George But they don't have to be flawed. Eventually, they will be perfect.

Reinman Why? As if they were some great work of art to begin with. Star Wars is entertainment. The more you poke and prod and twist and distort, the less entertaining they become.

George I disagree.

Reinman I figured you might.

George Star Wars is successful and entertaining for two reasons 1) The universally relatable archetypal story and 2) Spectacular special effects. If I leave the first alone, and continue to make the second more spectacular, why wouldn't my newest version be more successful and entertaining?

Reinman You're right -- strong story and spectacular effects -- helped make it successful. But those weren't the only reasons. It's also successful because, on one hand, Star Wars is escapism and on the other hand, it's realism -- in that it looks almost like a place where we, the audience, could potentially live and work and have adventures. I'm referring to the well-doucmented "used" feel the Star Wars universe embodies -- a grimy, beat up, been around for many, many years "used" feel.

It's the same in the ultra-successful Lord of the Rings trilogy. They are successful for many of the same reasons that Star Wars is, and one of the major reasons is that "used, ancient" feel -- it's a place where people have lived and worked and died. It looks like a place where humanity has lived and the Star Wars universe -- the original Star Wars universe, at least -- looks like a place where humanity could live.

George The "special editons" don't change that.

Reinman They do, and they will continue to do so the more you tinker. Shiny, slick computer graphics don't look "used." And, much more importantly, a hyper-active moving, swooping camera doesn't make the action appear "grounded" or "used."

George Lord of the Rings used a "moving swooping" camera, and those movies -- according to your own admission -- didn't suffer for it.

Reinman But those movies were all made at the same time with a similar style. With Star Wars, you're trying to go back and fuse two different styles from two different eras of filmmaking. It would be like Peter Jackson, 20 years from now, incorporating 3-D elements into a handful of scenes here or there.

George That would be cool.

Reinman That would be stupid. And, I fear, that this road has no end. In your continuing drive to make your movies "perfect," you will continue to move them further and further away from what made them successful. In short, you're trying to make your original trilogy be like the prequels.

You're turning this:



Into this:



George Ouch.

Reinman Yeah. Ouch.

George What should I do?

Reinman Stop. Just stop. Leave the movies as they are. But, if you do have to change anything, please give the rancor an enormous spiked collar and dog-tags, so we know for sure that it's really someone's pet.

George That was a test, right?

Reinman Right.

George I have to admit, I was getting pretty excited about the rancor thing. This is gonna be tough.

Reinman Some would say impossible. But it's fun to imagine the possibility.