Books on the Right-Hand Shelf of My Computer Desk

(From left to right)

Star Wars Treasury - A treasure indeed. Ms. Bandemer, my 10th grade English teacher, found the picture book collection in her mother's attic and gave it to me as a gift. I'm not sure how she knew I was such a big Star Wars fan. I must give off some sort of pheromone. That, or she noticed the space battles in the margins of every assignment.

World Atlas: notebook (Rand McNally) - Another gift (buying stuff is for suckers). I don't remember who it was from, but I got it in the seventh grade. I hang onto it because it remains relatively current, but I have to admit, I'm disappointed by the enormous blank spaces in the oceans. Those spaces should be filled with something useful, such as sketches of enormous sea-serpents, or continental values for additional armies.

Halo 2: The Official Guide - Came free with my special edition copy of the Halo 2 videogame. Let's move on.

NFL.com 2006 Fantasy Football Preview - It was left at my house by the Hermit during a not-so-recent visit. I am not playing in a fantasy football league this year, and, in fact, have come to despise fantasy football for detracting from my enjoyment of the actual teams in the NFL. So, naturally, I read the Fantasy Football Preview cover to cover.

The Incredibles: Supers to the Rescue - A coloring book the Jilb bought for me, because coloring it awesome. (The selling point was a cut-out of a bedroom door-knob hanger that read "Super Kid Inside." It continues to hang on the door to this room. I am a super kid.)

Jane Austen: Three Complete Novels - One of Jill's books. I've never read a Jane Austen novel, despite continual urgings from my friend Franklin (and I would imagine I'll be getting the same from a certain Thooft). I have, however, seen the film version of Sense and Sensibility and about ten minutes of Pride and Prejudice. But if the track record for current book-to-film adaptations is any indication, the movie versions are way better than the novels anyway. (Brace yourself, Reinman.)

Rabbits for Dummies - Rabbits are so Fall 2005.

Understanding Flying - From ages 10 to 14, I really wanted to be a pilot. Then, once I began ninth grade, I suddenly didn't want to be one anymore. Never quite figured that one out.

Fierce Pajamas: An Anthology of Humor Writing from The New Yorker - The ratio of funny essays to crappy essays is about one to four. But the good essays are about the best examples of humor writing you'll find.

Catch-22: I already posted about this book, so go reread that one. Anyway, once again, it's a terrific novel, and I encourage you all not to read it.

The Star Wars Trilogy - In seventh grade, I loaned my copy to John Greuling and never saw it again. So a couple years ago, I broke down and bought another copy from B. Dalton. I remember the cashier was sniggering at me as I bought it, so I got her back by reading an article about Randy Moss in Sports Illustrated without buying the magazine. Bwahaha! Then I burned down the store.

Anyway, of the three novelizations, Star Wars is the only one worth reading. It was also the only one written by George Lucas, which I considered to be a major accomplishment, until the Colonel informed me that he had used a ghost writer. Shame on you, George, for disappointing me once again. Shame on you and your multi-million dollar empire and your inane prequels and your infuriating special editions and your smug, bearded interviews. (I'm still going to buy your DVDs a week from now.)

Star Wars - The stand-alone copy of the same text I discussed above. It's worth having by itself because, as I said, it's head and shoulders above the other two crappy novelizations. And as a stand-alone piece, it can be considered legitimate literature. No, I am not a nerd.

The Empire Strikes Back - Ok, yes I am.

Peter Rabbit - This children's book was my first significant exposure to the world of literature. I'm thinking of making it the only required textbook for my writing class next semester. It's just the sort of thing a hip, young professor would do - using something simple and extracting every teachable moment from it. Also, it's a pain to prepare for class with the big, heavy textbook I'm using now. I keep forgetting that when I assign enormous, difficult readings, I should probably do them myself.

That, or I can blog.