No Resolution. Just some good ol' fashioned...

A little over a month ago, I received a book for my birthday. (Some kids got toys and money and cake for their birthdays. I got books. And special birthday beatings.)

It was a post-moderny sort of book that taught through parable, or fable, or proverb, or whatever. It was about boring old meetings, and it basically said that most meetings are old and boring because they don't involve conflict.

Now, I don't go to a lot of meetings, but I spend just about every day on this blog, and I've realized that it's beginning (not starting) to become old and boring.

So clearly, what YNCTwB needs is some good ol' fashioned conflict.

And, of course, the easiest way to ensure conflict is to start a flame war with another site. What fun!

So, I'll just peruse my sidebar here and decide who to flame.

Let's see...well, I can't touch Yourethemannowdog. I am no match for Bond.

I could flame Homestarrunner for their current ineptitude, but my little angry voice would be lost amongst the thousands of other e-mails.

It's none too wise to tick off the fiance, nor the keeper of my lodging (albeit freezing) for the next three months.

The paintballers would paint me, John would out-wit me, and Boyum would just gleefully absorb my insults.

I wouldn't know how to flame zombocom, and the Revolution is already on fire.

Abe has a videoblog, and Isaac is producing a television show--I fear the mass weapons at their disposal.

The flame war would commence, rage, and cease before The Windmill even noticed, and I can't bring myself to pick on little sister Jenni.

Dangeresque Dan is too, well, dangeresque. And I strongly suspect that Twenty Something would just turn the other cheek.

And thus, only Double Deuce Pictures remains.

So, Double Deuce, from now on you are my mortal online enemy. I hope nobody goes to see your hilarious, student-produced, full-length movie on May 5th. I hope it doesn't launch its makers into fame and fortune. I hope the audience laughs long and hard at your feeble little story.

I hope my trucker hat gets here before the premiere.