One Word

A few days ago, I decided that it was of the utmost importance to find out who was linking to my blog.

So I went to a website and downloaded something called trackback--which, basically, would have allowed me to see who was linking.

I say "would have" because I didn't keep it very long.

After the program was installed, I clicked back to my blog to see if it had worked--only to find all my comments erased.

I was devastated.

You see, those comments are like my little baby children--I love and cherish them all. Without comments I never would have found a picture of Lazar Wolf. Without comments I never would have been introduced to Zombocom. Who knows? Without comments--with their continual feedback, encouragment, and humor--this blog might still be dead.

Devastation led to fear; fear led to anger; and anger led to a lot of clicking around on that crum-bum site, trying to get my comments back.

I soon figured out the scam: in order to get my comments back, I would have to sign up for their "premium" service, which, of course, I would have to pay large sums of money for.

That led to more anger; and anger led to suffering. (I gave my Lando action figure a good beating. He took it well.)

Needless to say, I purged that scammy program from my site, but that didn't get my comments back. Fortunately, before I started the whole process, I had had the good sense to back-up my original template for my blog (after years and years of video work, I have been trained to back up everything).

I crossed my fingers, copied in the original template, and violina! my comments were back.

I then shed a couple hundred tears, because I firmly believe that I am connected in some way to those comments, in much the same manner that Sauron's fate was tied to the One Ring, and my brother's fate is tied to my 1989 blue Celebrity.

So, after all that, I learned that it's really not a big deal if I know who's linking to me--the satisfaction of a job well done and the occasional comment from one of my readers is all I need.

Plus I'm going to send about five thousand viruses to Haloscan--the scammy website.

* * *

Well, I would've if I knew how to program a virus...and send a virus.

Regardless, I take comfort in the fact that one negative word from You Never Can Tell with Bees is enough to topple any organization. Up next: CBS (man, I hate that crappy network).