Internet Conspiracy

Last night I was forced to go to a lecture by John Judge--the co-director of the 9/11 citizens watch.

Yes, "forced." Three goons came into my dorm room, tied me up, slapped duct tape over my mouth, threw me into a bag and carried me to the lecture hall.

I'm trying to think how I would grade the lecture over all. On the one hand, he had lots of interesting, "inside" information on the workings of our government; it was like reading a Tom Clancy novel except I didn't get to see anyone die. There was still just as much cussing, though. (No. I can't back that up. I mean, the guy wouldn't even describe something as "crap." He said "brown.")

So I give that aspect of the evening a "B-"

But on the other hand, he talked for way, way too long--cutting into my precious Halo time (and sure, I guess, blog time). So for that inexcusable offense, I give him a good ol' fashioned "F."

There were a lot of other factors I could rate, but in the interest of time, I'll just give him an overall grade.

Long-winded lecture by man who looks like Lazar Wolf: D-

(Would you believe I couldn't find a good picture of Lazar Wolf? Really, I searched the entire internet. 10 gold stars to anyone who can provide a link to one.)

So he's hanging by a thread.

Early on in his lecture he said, "I'm not a conspiracy theorist--I'm a coincidence theorist."

Which, of course, means that he's a conspiracy theorist.

He kept comparing America to Nazi Germany--saying things like, "The head Nazi scientist who built the gas chambers came to America after World War II and taught 12th grade English to three of our last four Presidents and Lee Harvey Oswald."

Yeah, "coincidence theorist."

Like most people, when I hear "conspiracy theorist," I either think of Dale Gribble or the movie Conspiracy Theory.

"If Mel Gibson meets a body, coming through the rye . . ."

(Man, I totally struck out on links this time. I was really hoping I could find a picture of Lazar Wolf--I mean, the guy looked just like him. And then I couldn't even find a Dale Gribble "conspiracy" page. I don't want to live in a world where the internet doesn't have that.)